Jan. 6th, 2011

lemon_says: (camille)
I never used to get headaches. Ever. I got like, two that I called "migraines" in college because I had visual disturbances and threw up, but otherwise I have never really been headachy. After the last few months, during which I had more days with headaches than without, I finally saw my GP yesterday about them. She asked if they were migraines, and I said, "No, I just have these gnawing, slightly nauseating headaches every day, and it's worse with bright light, cold, and really loud noises."

She said, "So, you have migraines."

Evidently. But I'm still in denial. I don't have migraines; I have a headache that just won't go away. For three months. Anyway.

Since I have never been a headache person, I figure it is somehow related to my medication and it therefore fixable. Besides, I'm using up all of my fragility cards on my hip, and I just can't add another ailment without, like I told [livejournal.com profile] heathrow, finding myself on the slippery slope of being one of those women with vaguely-defined lassitude who can't use household cleaners or eat gluten.

See, I am not at odds with my body. I have The Hip because of an injury, not because my body simply turned against me. I'm not fragile. I do not bask in the attention illness gives me, and I do not like being weak; therefore, I do not accept that something in my head has gone awry. I can't ignore it because it's frustrating that every day, no matter what I am doing, in the back of my mind I'm thinking head hurts, head hurts, head hurts, and I can't let pain be the default because we know what happens then. That said, I am also embarrassed by the failures of my body; listing any doctors I've been to in the last three years makes me feel like a hypochondriac, and I have a mortal fear of being a hypochondriac. I generally assume that anything is minor until I am told otherwise, which is probably why after my accident I had every expectation of being put in a cast and sent home.

I am being sent to a neurologist, just in case, although honestly, I don't hold out much hope. I know too many people who still have migraines, despite having a laundry list of doctors and a pharmacy of drugs. What's the point? I take pain pills for a hip that still hurts; most of the complaints I've taken to various physicians never really got solved (mystery abdominal pain, I'm talking to you).

Obviously, I am facing this with some ambivalence. I have more faith in the acupuncture for which my doc has also given me a referral. But I'm not Camille, I swear.

ETA: As much as I hate disclaimers, I always have to offer them before feathers get ruffled. Before you get your knickers in a twist, I am not implying that if you can't eat gluten you are a hypochondriac and migraines make you weak or some such nonsense. I simply mean that in the great scheme of Universal Fairness, if one suffers from one Big Thing (Doom Hip, lupus, brain tumor, et. al.), one should not ALSO have another (migraines, leprosy, cancer, and so on), and that should I find myself with more than one Serious Thing, I would personally start to feel rather Camille-ish.
lemon_says: (Default)
As I was back to my adventures in South DeKalb today, I was driving down the Magnificent Mile of pawn shops, package stores, PI attorneys, and dialysis clinics when I noted a clinic that read:

Did you have an "Accident"?
We treat all kinds of "pain."

Look no farther for your illicit prescription needs.

Speaking of reputable, I have started watching "My Strange Addiction," which is, indeed, strange. I still am not sure that tanning or ventriloquism is an addiction, strictly speaking, but since most of these people seem rather proud of their addictions, I don't feel like I'm exploiting a freak show when I watch it. The girl on this episode is a tanner, and she doesn't like when people talk about skin cancer because it is "annoying." The last time she burned, her skin split open all over her back. Um, ew.

Speaking of exploitation, I'm curious about how you feel about programs like "Intervention" and "The Biggest Loser," that sort of thing. There are some that I feel are not exploitative, like "Intervention" or "Hoarders," because they are handled with more sensitivity and highlight how a regular person can slip into a mental illness or addiction pretty easily through a cascade of circumstances and choices. Others, like "The Biggest Loser" and "Dance Your Ass Off," kind of horrify me, honestly. I've heard people call "Biggest Loser" inspirational, but it strikes me as less inspirational than, well, freak show. If it were just supposed to be inspirational, they wouldn't keep trying to top themselves every time with "the most obese contestant ever," and the dramatic collapse moments. I don't even watch the program, but one only has to see a commercial to get that impression. It's like, oh, look at the sad fat people, and feel sorry for them until they're like us or something. That program "Dance Your Ass Off" horrifies me; you think that it's all about happy motivation and there's no mockery involved in making a morbidly-obese woman put on lycra and gyrate around a pole? Yeah, right. [livejournal.com profile] travellight and I were talking about these shows last night, and she feels much as I do, so I was wondering what you thought.

I won't even get started on programs like that recent one where the bridezillas competed for plastic surgery, or the Extreme Makeover/The Swan-type crap where instead of shocking and horrifying with weight, producers invite viewers to gaze upon a poor soul's ugliness until some telegenic surgeon "fixes" the person. Cry no more homely tears, Elephant Man, Dr. 90210 will make you pretty. We're not talking the surgeons who volunteer their skills to fix harelips in Third World nations, people.

What say you?

[Poll #1664927]


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