Apr. 5th, 2011

lemon_says: (Luchadores)
We all use this space to brag about our kids, don't we? Mine's so sweet, mine is so smart, mine is the MVP of the team. Today, I am not bragging. Today, I am confessing that in at least one aspect, my kids are totally inept.

They are completely unable to tell the difference between Sure, go ahead, and Go ahead and split your head open/break that/freeze to death, since you're determined to do it anyway.

I suppose this is related to how my mother used to complain that my sister and I were incapable of Cosby-kid Judgment: the parent says something like, "I know you want to go to the party, but you DO have that big test tomorrow. I know you'll make the right decision," and the kid says, "Gee, Mom, you're right," and stays home to study. Yeah, we never did that. We'd say, "Yeah! Party!" And we'd be out the door before she could change her mind. I had friends that those techniques worked on; they'd say, "My mom said I could go, but she sounds like she'll be mad if I do." Sorry for your guilty conscience, man, but that's a yes in my book.

Lo, it should not surprise me that my children do not overly suffer from good judgment or guilty consciences. They must know for sure if one can toboggan down a bunk bed ladder (not successfully, as you might recall) or do math homework in five minutes or less (surprisingly, yes) if it means a few more minutes on the bicycle. Build a bike ramp out of piles of leaves and random pieces of wood? Don't mind if they do, thanks!

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