May. 23rd, 2011

lemon_says: (foot)
Is this FB or a PBS pledge drive? It could be Craigslist, though. Every time I log on, there are six posts selling items, and at least four fundraising "opportunities" for me to make my charitable donations. I can buy cookies or popcorn--I think all the people pimping Boy Scout popcorn should have bought Girl Scout cookies and vice versa, by the way--or wrapping paper or "jewelry" or whatever will send the team to State. I could chip in for prom dresses or pay for senior trips, but that's against everything I believe in; begging isn't the same thing as earning money, so no, I don't care to contribute to make sure you get to go to the Bahamas with your class. (WTF, are you kidding me? People still send their kids to places like that after that whole Natalie Holloway thing? When did graduating from high school become something to be feted with a Grand Tour instead of a step that you're supposed to take on the way to adulthood?)

As much as I wish I could contribute to every worthy cause, it wears a bit thin at times that every third post on FB is a hand out for a donation. I'd love to be able to fund everything, but instead I feel inundated.

Worse are the buy-my-stuff posts. I'm not talking about the occasional would-anyone-like-to-buy post when you have something in which you know several people in your party might be interested. Selling diapers to other cloth diapering moms? Yes, go ahead. Selling your car/Vespa/random items from your basement while posting "Please buy this because I'll lose my house if you don't"? Yeah, don't do that. Please. There's this place called Craigslist, and you can post things like that on it, and people who are looking for these items will actually contact you to purchase them. That way you don't have to post your sofa nine times in three days. Or your HOUSE. How many people impulse-purchase a house?

I'm always curious about what is the proper response to destitution posts. What do you say when people post ALL the time about how they don't have grocery money, or rent, when you know that they also just bought new computers or iPhones or their mama still pays for everything? Is there an appropriate response? Most people comment with frowny sadface. That seems to suffice. I prefer not to comment at all.

Speaking of awkward, how many times a day do you bite your tongue because a cousin/old friend/old nemesis posts something really, really wrong? It gives me pain when people post things like, "Wow, gave baby cereal today! Three months old already!" and I want to scream, OMGWTFBBQ, can't you read that babies can't have solids before six months. Or someone gets all proud because a four-month-old "learned" to sleep through the night with "just a couple hours" of crying and now they're the experts on infant sleep, even though it goes against pretty much all of the biological (scientifically proven, even!) facts about babies. But you know, and I know, that it's shouting into the wind, so we bite our (educated) tongues and go about our business. You ain't going to change anybody's mind on Facebook--and that goes for politics, too.

And last, please, God, stop with the "this puppy will die if you don't adopt it" links. I have two dogs. I have two dogs that I care for and have had fixed so as not to produce more dogs. I have taken in strays. I have volunteered at the Humane Society. I also have two children who are my priority, and no, I won't be taking in nine foster dogs of indeterminate temperament, because I owe it to my kids (and my dogs) to keep their home a safe place. I love dogs. I also know that you can't save all of them. I am not motivated by guilt to adopt a dog I cannot properly care for, and while I wish every shelter were a no-kill one, I am realistic enough to know that all dogs are not adoptable--and even if they were, you cannot save them all. But it is depressing to open FB and see a looong row of posts about dogs all over the country, with their sad eyes and death threats. You know who I admire? The people I read about recently who go to shelters and spend each dog's last day making sure it's a good one: playing ball, snuggles, treats, walks. That's got to be a nearly-impossible gig, but they do it. They do it knowing that you cannot, despite your best intentions, save them all.

And yes, I'm sure at least one person is going to get bitchy about this and snap at me for some reason or another, but if I haven't offended at least one person, clearly I'm not myself. I'm not criticizing individuals; I'm referring to the fact that people post so much without knowing what others are posting, and don't realize that by the time I get to your sales pitch, I'm on the tenth one of the day.

I hate being the person who ignores all the pleas and pitches, but I've got my own disasters going on over here.

What's your least favorite thing people post on FB?

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