May. 25th, 2011

lemon_says: (Hockey words)
The only bad thing about Crawford Long hospital is the parking deck. I swear, every time I am there, my rage level shoots up astronomically. If I had a paintball gun, I would feel better.

The place is always packed starting around 9. I don't get upset about it being packed. I get upset because I am always behind some asshole who drives up 11 levels at (literally--you get passed by walkers) 5 miles per hour, thinking that there will be the ONE DAMN SPACE open just for his special self. I am not usually a rude driver, but I have been known to blow the horn and pass people in the parking deck because I just couldn't bear it anymore.

Everyone gets there at 9, okay? That means nobody is leaving before 10. So if you have an appointment at 10, you will be parking on level L. It's not that big a deal to park on level L. There's an elevator that goes to almost all the floors, thus rendering them largely equal. I realize if you are on L that you have to walk down a short flight of steps to Level K's elevator, but it's all right. It won't kill you.

And while I'm trying to leave and following these parking dilberts through the deck at a speed slower than that maintained by a Segway, I'm thinking, if I click over my time to the extra dollar because I'm following your slow ass, I am going to key you. It's not like I'm roaring through there. I have never damaged another car or hit a pedestrian, or even had to hit my brakes hard because of someone else. I just drive, though, which is evidently too great a challenge for most of the parkers at CL.

To make it worse, people can't park in this deck. There are always idiot parkers who require a note on their windshields--You're supposed to park in ONE space, or Either you forgot your handicap pass or you're an asshole--but this deck is teeming with bad parkers. And it's diagonal parking! It's not hard! You just turn the wheel slightly and there you are!

Perhaps this rage is rooted in my deep resentment of pay-parking. I hate to pay for parking. I really, really hate to pay for parking. I especially resent paying $5 for an hour in a parking deck, or having to pay a valet to get my car that is 10 feet from me. Don't even get me started on parking meters and their piddly allowances of seven minutes for a quarter. And I am positively bitter about having to pay for parking for a place of which I am a member (Botanical Gardens, I'm looking at you).

The lesson in this, as far as I can tell, is that the path to riches is ownership of parking decks. I don't know how many hundreds of cars that CL deck can hold, but 12 levels packed full of cars, and the cheapest way out is still $4? Dude. That's extortion.

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