Jun. 6th, 2011

lemon_says: (Default)
I think it's been well-established that I have some...quirks. Although I am not a squeamish person, everybody knows about my thing about the word "embedded" and anything that becomes such, particularly in a person. Same goes for the word "encrusted," and touching lunchmeat. *gag* But there are others that came up this weekend and usually make P chuckle at me. He thinks it's funny that I can watch the most graphic surgical procedures without flinching, but a horde of people with turkey legs makes me walk with my eyes on the ground.

1. I can't stand to watch people gnawing on a turkey leg. I'd rather see someone gnawing on an actual living turkey than wandering around in 100-degree heat, clutching a chewed turkey leg in a sweaty fist and grease smeared from ear to ear. Seriously, I can't look.

2. The brand name "Muscle Milk," which makes me want to hork every time I hear the commercial. It sounds like something that builds up in one's muscles and oozes out. *shudder*

3. Anything with lots of holes or pores. Lotus pods, those rings arty people make that look like a bunch of tubeworms clustered together...there's this statue at E's preschool that has cowrie shells stuck into clay, and those little openings just disturb me. The kids "feed" the statue by putting lentils and seeds into those holes, and it gives me the screaming willies.

Isn't it funny how our brains work, and what we interpret as gross? We went to lunch yesterday and Anya ate froglegs. (She knew they were froglegs.) This is the same child that ate half an octopus-that-looked-like-whole-octopus, but gags if I make her eat cauliflower.

So, what's the not-actually-gross thing that you think is gross?

Bad jokes

Jun. 6th, 2011 07:01 pm
lemon_says: (Point and laugh)
I'm keeping my friends' son for a few days this week, and while the child is an absolute delight, his contributions to the humor level aren't elevating it much.

Monster and Big Ez (and S, our visitor) are very funny, but when they try to make up jokes, they are just not funny.

I've tried to explain wordplay. I've given examples. I've googled jokes for more examples. I've not laughed when they're too random and said, "That doesn't make sense, dude."

So during lunch I was treated to a series of the worst jokes you ever heard. Why did the house fall down without a wrecker-ball? A ghost did it. Or How did the farmer count his houses? With a chicken finger!

I was just about to write them all off for good and dash their possible hopes of ever doing standup when the three of them worked together to come up with this gem:

Why could the cow pull off his tail?

He was moo-tilated.

Perhaps there is hope. Not a lot, but a glimmer.


lemon_says: (Default)

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